Rant!

{ November 28, 2009 @ 2:07 am } · { Uncategorized }
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What the hell?! I feel so bad, that sometimes we have to hide our emotions. Sometimes, it’s better to pretend than to explain the freakin’ feeling. Some people could not just appreciate you – the way you are. Amazing. Life is pretty amazing. I am positive that this will turn out into something better. I know I may feel a little pain but hey life has been kind to me. I know I do not deserve such a man whore and a sucker. God knows that I am looking for a better man for me and he sticks on that plan. It’s just me who never considered it. I was willing to take risks, I really was. I never thought that I may get hurt. As early as now, I thank the Lord for letting me know what kind of a man he is. I asked for help this afternoon, I said that He is in charge of my life from today. I wished for the best for today. I wished that today would be better. I think today was definitely better. Thank you so much Lord. Thank you. I hope that after today, you will help me face the world proud and ready. I know I can do this. I know I can. I believe in your will and your command.

I was about to fall for the man I kissed. I was about to fall for the man that is really not my type. I was about to give it up.  I was about to ready myself for some changes. I was, I think, was kind of liking someone. He is a total opposite of me. We are very different from each other and I know we do not get along that much. We do not do same stuff. I thank him for the wonderful kisses we have shared. Kisses without passion, but those kisses eventually made me like him. I was not in the mood to play around. God knows I am taking things slowly. I didn’t know that it was a sign of weakness. I did not know that I had to be aggressive and I had to make moves. After tonight, I felt like my ego was crushed.  I acted like I didn’t care. It sucks. I cannot explain the feeling but I have to let this out. I can do this. I am strong. I am brave. This is an experience. I know others felt the pain I felt also. I know someone better will be there for me. But damn, he was such a good kisser. I need a good kiss at times. haha!

Dreams and Stops

{ November 22, 2009 @ 6:14 pm } · { Uncategorized }
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Dreams, we all dream. Who doesn’t? Admit it or not, we all have tiny little wishes for ourselves, and most of the painful things that we go through start from chasing our wildest down to the littlest dreams. It starts with the chasing of the dream that we would like to reach. However, once we started and were able to get the guts to chase it no matter what, we start to hope. Hoping, we think that there is a chance – maybe little but we still want to try. It’s like reaching the unreachable star. You know it’s unreachable because the only thing you can do is to stare at it and never touch. Every single day we think of that star and we start to develop an attachment to it. Once we started to get attached, we badly want it and we would badly cling too much on that dream. During this stage, we forget the real definition of dream. Dreams may or may not come true, we should always remember that. The hope and the optimism is our choice. I am not saying that we should be pessimistic. What I am trying to say is that we have to see the reality before us. At times, we get too involved that we continue to seek for that dream. It’s disgusting. We run for it but it does not stop to wait for us. The question is, aren’t we tired of running already? Aren’t we tired of chasing? Maybe we are not yet tired – or we don’t even get tired. But there will come a point that we start to realize that we should’ve stopped a long time ago but it’s already too late to stop and to move on. Sometimes, we do not see the opportunities given to us because we are preoccupied with that desire. We should always remember that as we chase for our dreams there’s always a stop (a bus stop thing). We are given the choice to stay on that stop or continue to chase that person or that thing. There are no U-turn slots, and there is no turning back. Stops, at times, are good. Stops, at times, would give us the chance to think for ourselves – think for our happiness. The problem with us is we think that the dreams that we chase should be our destination. But the reality is we will never know where we are going. Sometimes, a stop during the ride may be our real destination.

NEXT PRESIDENT

{ September 2, 2009 @ 8:49 pm } · { Uncategorized }
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BAYANI FERNANDO. I first heard his name when he took the MMDA Chair position and heard a lot more when he painted the streets pink – not literally the streets. I’m not yet a registered voter but I will officially become a registered voter maybe next week. Lol. That makes me eligible to vote for worthy officials who I think can run the country and the countrymen with great leadership abilities. I believe that what Filipinos need is a leader who can discipline the people. It’s crazy because the Filipinos do not actually want to be disciplined. So why would they vote for a president who would kill and stop all their illegal activities? I guess BF wouldn’t get votes from the squatters, the law violators, and others. If he is going to be the next President, he will really discipline the people. I believe that we would like to succeed and be among the best countries, we have to be disciplined to do the right thing. What I like about him is that he doesn’t really care if who he’s fighting with. Look what he and his wife were able to do in Marikina. Marikina has continued to shine. We need that leader – the leader who can step up. We need that leader now. I will vote for BF. Let us vote for BF.

In relation to that, the country is once again startled by a recent Mar Roxas-Noynoy Aquino issue about who will be the Liberal Party’s standard bearer. Just yesterday, Mar announced that he will not be running for President anymore for he will give way to his friend Noynoy Aquino. As an opinion, I really think that Mar is a worthy candidate than Noynoy. Noynoy still has a lot of things to prove to us – the Filipinos. He’s been into politics for quite some time already but I’ve never heard of him or how he works and leads. Then, I googled for some information that I think might negate that assumption.  I ran into this blog: http://barriosiete.com/why-i-wouldn’t-vote-for-noynoy/. That site gave me so much information on why I wouldn’t vote for Noynoy – as the title says. In his press conference earlier telling everyone to give him some more time to decide, I felt like he is no Ninoy. Really, I’m only 19 but I have watched some of Ninoy’s speeches. Noynoy’s speech earlier was boring.

Anyway, before I get some of the supporters on fire, I’d be off now. This is just an opinion. Feel free to correct my opinions – it is okay. I know this blog is a little off, I mean I have not stated whatever facts to prove whatever I’m saying. Haha! But whatever, I just felt that I want to blog about this issues.

AGAIN, SUPPORT BF FOR PRESIDENT!

So it is love.

{ August 22, 2009 @ 12:07 am } · { Uncategorized }
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Hello. It has been more than a week since I last blogged. I don’t know, I just cannot explain everything that I am going through. It is him again – inside my mind. I could not forget or even stop myself from thinking about him. I believe that everything we think of is our choice. I thought that after four years everything is so over. However, I guess I am wrong. It is so not yet over and it is not a choice but a feeling. It was such a short experience with him but it was amazing – very amazing. I regret that I was such a snub. I regret that I did not like you right away. I regret that I am the reason why you’ve let go.
I heard his voice once again and every memory came back. I was very happy for again, after four years, we shared a conversation though it was not the conversation I have wished for. It was more of a professional conversation – work related. I miss him. I hate it that I look so pathetic thinking of him while he is out there having fun and living the life. I guess every rush that I have right now has something to do with the recent problems that I am going through in my family, school stress, and other factors. So I guess right now I will be focusing my entry about love and how it is like to love.
Love is so complex. It is very complicated that it is hard to describe the feeling. I myself do not even know when I should call it love. Would I call it love when I cried because I thought I will lose him? Or is it simply love when you learn to cry because you do not want the things that are happening around you both? Is it “love” when you feel the happiest when things are going the way you want it to be between you two? I don’t really know. For so many times, I have experienced blushing, caring, worrying, heart skipping a beat, and even crying over someone. Nonetheless, I never did try to tell to my friends that I am in love. I always say that I am just crushing or infatuated or I just like the person deeply. I never say it is love when there is no love given back to me. Never ending day dreams about him and me, the days we spent and how fun it will be if we are still together. I am being emotional. Some people would say that I am just overreacting. I, too, would always think of that. I always wonder why I can’t be like others who do not really care. I want to stop from thinking – I want to stop from loving (if it’s safe to call it that). I guess it is love when there are people coming my way, but I still remember that single person. Is it?
Is it love when I sacrifice for the person without asking for something in return? Is it love when I long for that person to comfort me in times of weary? Is it love when you can still bother to think of that person on your busiest and even saddest days? I hope there is a measurement on when can we call it love. However, the subjectivity of it, I believe, made it more interesting. It is not something we can weigh. Sometimes we could love so much that we can’t even think of how much we get in return. Love is like that, there shouldn’t be any measurements. God created us to love freely – with no boundaries. The love we had may not be a happy ending but at least we have given it our all.
However I define love, I know that God has plans for me. He will help me move forward and finally live and love happily. I am not looking for love, as the tarot card says about my situation. I am just sitting and waiting since I am contented with how I live my life. Nonetheless, according to the reading, there’s still pain and sorrow because of the past love that I have been through. It’s tough to forget and move one. Maybe I have no choice when it comes to loving someone, but I can choose to move on after sorrows and goodbyes. Congratulations to those who loved and learned a lot about that love. As said in the movie Moulin Rouge, “the greatest thing you’ll ever learn is to love and be loved in return.”

issues

{ August 9, 2009 @ 4:17 pm } · { Uncategorized }
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Whoa  it’s been a long time since I last updated my blog. I have been busy with a lot – work and school. Now, in the middle of finishing every detail of my thesis, I will try to reorganize my thoughts for today. So what really made me blog once again? Like any blogger, bad days. I cried before writing this blog because my parents and I are not in good terms right now. It’s just so hard for me to make them understand that I also have my own priorities. They are never aware on how affected I am whenever I miss an assignment or was not able to prepare for a quiz. Here is the thing, we run a family business. I know that they are counting on me to help. I am not even paid, and I shouldn’t be obliged. My dad woke me up this morning shouting and yelling that it’s late already and I shouldn’t be going to work because of my laziness and oversleeping. The problem is, they never realized that I only slept for 2 hours because I stayed up late doing thesis and school work. So there, I woke up feeling a little lethargic but I forced myself towake up, get into the shower, put my clothes on, and leave the house. We had an agreement that I would only be staying until lunch time so I could go home and do the rest of my school requirements especially my thesis. I called the house to tell my stepmom that she has to come to the store for me to go home. She told me she can’t and I should just go home (she was kind of irritated when I called). I stayed at the store for an hour because I was hesitant to leave. However, there was no sign of my stepmom. As usual, they never follow agreements. So I just left and went straight home. My dad saw me when I arrived. He told me that I am inconsiderate and that I didn’t care. I didn’t bother to hear him finish his blab and I went to my room to cry. It makes me sad that they do not care for me. I have responsibilities too, and I cannot just stay at the store to kill time and fail my thesis. My dad always thinks that I am exaggerating when I say that it is hard. He always thinks that I could finish it in minutes. He never considers my effort of staying up late to perform better in school. These past few days, he made me feel like I am very unimportant to this family. He made me feel like he doesn’t care for me. There was a time that I told him that I’d leave with him so I won’t be taking public transportation to school. Of course, he said yes. However, when he was already in the car and I wasn’t there yet, he left me. A couple of nights ago, he was angry that I still have to do things in school until 11:30 pm. At first, he wouldn’t allow me to use the car when I go home. He was considering that I should take public transporation again.  But I insisted that it’s scary and it’s not safe. Thank goodness, he asked my big brother to pick me up instead. I know that I am much closer to my dad now as compared to the time when I first stayed with him. I am much comfortable now. However, there’s one thing that didn’t change since the beginning.  That one thing is my ability to explain to him my side. I ALWAYS FAIL ON THAT MATTER. Why? Because HE IS ALWAYS RIGHT. I remember one time when I had a problem, he told me to think outside of the box – think wider. I always think of that, and I wanted to live my life like that. I don’t know if we have the same understanding of it. But I guess we don’t. He never thinks outside of the box. He is trapped inside. He doesn’t even value friendship that much. That is why he doesn’t have that much of friends. I look like him, but I always have the attitude of my mom. My mom is my bestest friend. I miss her so much. It hurts to think that both of them are not GOOD LISTENERS to their children. My dad always prioritizes his comfort and his happiness. For the nth time and after a very long time, I will say this again, I WANT TO LEAVE. I miss mommy. I grew up and matured without mom. I want to see her badly. I miss mommy. I already forgave everything mom did. I miss mommy’s care. I miss mommy touching my hair or keeping me in comfort whenever I am sick. With dad, I have to take good care of myself. I feel bad that whenever my dad and I argues, I always bring up mommy. I guess, I am just looking for care that mommy used to give.

Anyway, I can’t breathe anymore. I will lift everything up to God Almighty. I will forever be his maid, and will forever live because of him.

I Have a Stalker, Not Funny!

{ April 24, 2009 @ 4:22 am } · { Uncategorized }
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I just cannot believe that I actually have a stalker! This is the scariest, the grossest, and the freakiest thing that happened to me. Geez. What’s up with him texting me? And because I do not reply back to his messages, he came to look for me at our store! Plus, he had the guts to look for me in front of my dad. It was good that I was not around at that time. He was lucky that my dad just laughed about it yesterday morning because he was not aware that the night before that this stupid fugly man came over to look for me! He asked how I was doing and I said I am “okay” then I turned away. He then texted me that I was mean and snobbish. What did he expect me to do? Welcome him? No way. My dad is irritated by his actions already. Whenever he would attempt to text me or look for me again, my dad said to text him back or tell him that my parents are aware of what he is doing. For sure, he wouldn’t like it.

And, what’s with the confidence? He thinks that I would like him because of his efforts to stalk me? Hell no! He’s a fugly old man who likes a teenage girl. And, he looks like someone who’s ready to bang me. Geez. Sex maniac, eh? Come on. He’s scary!!! I am sorry; I am just so pissed about his actions. I hope that he would never return again and get a life of his own. He is someone in his 30s and gosh I am just a nineteen year old girl. YUCK. I hate people like him because they just don’t know where they stand and how they should act. This is alarming, and this is no laughing matter. Please pray that he won’t show up this morning at our store because I have to be there.

Thank you! I am very pissed right now, geez. I hope he stops this, I really do. Of course, it is because for both of us to get away from the hassle that his actions might cause. I would never tolerate this, and this will go to the proper authorities if these actions continue. NO TO STALKING!!!

Bye people. God Bless you.

K,

Strategic Management

{ April 19, 2009 @ 2:34 am } · { Uncategorized }
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Soooo after all, I will apply what I have learned from my Strategic Management class to our new business. As we all know, we are considered to be a new entrant to the industry and I guess an agressive stance is necessary! If we want to penetrate the market, two options are available for us. These options are either to  differentiate our services from that of the competitors or be a low-cost provider. Actually, we wanted to do the best cost strategy but I think it will be very hard and  it will take a lot of creativity and ideas. There is no point for integration because a lot of resources is going to be needed. Argh, and we do not have that capability yet. We want to become more careful with our spending since we only get a little income from this. My dad said that it is okay if the competitors would retaliate because we do not really take our everyday expenses from this business. But I really want this business to grow. haha.  My very goal is to find suppliers that offer lower unit costs than the suppliers of our competitors. It is the number one, really. Another option, is to look for substitute goods. As I have mentioned in my previous blog, our market is the poor people that could only afford what is necessary. So I guess, substitute goods would really click because those are cheaper. My gosh, I hope this will succeed. hahaha.

Our business is like a mini grocery that supplies the small Sari-sari stores. Please PM me or leave comments if you know where to find suppliers that offer cheap grocery prices. And just to add, I am from the Philippines. :)

BLANK

{ April 18, 2009 @ 4:19 pm } · { Uncategorized }
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I’ve been out of the blogsphere lately since I’ve been pretty busy with our new business. :) yeeh! Woah, it is pretty difficult to earn money and of course to manage a business where we’ve invested a certain amount of moolah! We’ve had a lot of admirers here, guys everywhere! hahaha. Our store assistants have a lot of admirers. And surprisingly, me too! It’s quite funny because we only tend to flirt them because we were enticing them to buy. There’’s this boy who likes me and he wants to court me! geez. But, no no no. I do not have the same feelings for him. He is nice, I know that but I am just not interested. I will never deny the fact that I am also considering our differences in status. I know it’s kinda mean but… I’m trying to be very nice to him, we can still be friends. I really do not mind. :)

Our store is near the depressed area in the city. Well, I have seen a lot of things that changed my outlook in life. This experience made me see how poor these Filipinos are. Not so good to see. :/ anyway, I am in a hurry sooooo byeee! :) good luck people! and God Bless.

Great Day

{ April 1, 2009 @ 4:17 am } · { Uncategorized }
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I just wanna say “great day”! :) I hope I could make it through my thesis defense later. I’m off to bed for now… after staying up because of a school paper. :)

Good luck everyone! Happy April Fool’s day.

K

Cheap Ass Chip Tsao

{ March 31, 2009 @ 12:12 am } · { Uncategorized }
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I just cannot condone this. I cannot allow anybody to act this way against my country – the country where I grew up and I deeply love. No matter how this cheap ass Chip Tsao labels my country, this country for me is the best country there is. I am proud of the Philippines for it was able to produce great workers around the globe. I am a proud Filipino because we do not abuse our workers like you cheap ass Chip Tsao. In this blog entry, I will never say something against China and its citizens because I am not as cheap as you are. You are a renowned columnist and author but you really have the grossest attitude. I would admit you are very intelligent and it really showed on how you’ve written this article in terms of grammar and the like. However, you are such a dumb ass because you’ve written these things – these things against the Filipinos who serve you food, wash your dirty underwear, clean your house, etc… You do not deserve any respect because you do not even know what it is. I am proud to be a Filipino because as a little girl, I was taught to respect every single individual I meet especially the elders. I was taught what is proper from improper. We Filipinos are not like you. Yes, we may be receiving a cheap salary from you and we may be benefiting from the salaries that you pay us but I would like to remind you that working with an employer like you, that cheap salary isn’t enough. Filipinos don’t actually complain about their salaries. There are a lot of firms who pay them less than the minimum wage required but they do not leave these firms even if these said firms violate the law. Why? Because at least, they felt like they were treated really well.

I remember my parents would always remind us not to disrespect our maids. We’ve always treated our maids like a family. We eat with them, we go on vacations with them, and in fact they could sometimes even command us to do something. I remember my yaya would always remind me to be independent – cook my own breakfast, fix my bed, clean my room, and wash my underwear. They would always complain whenever I ask them to do something if they know that I could do it well myself. But I never did say that they have no right to decline to my demands because we pay them to do these. I respect them and I love them. God knows I care about them. Even our maids who already left would still come visit us. We do not treat them as servants. Instead, we treat them as family. And why can’t you do that? I cannot believe that an educated man like you could be very immature. You are the most immature educated old man that I happen to know. Please do me a favor, grow up cheap ass Chip Tsao.

With this, I really wish that people would not be as cheap as cheap ass Chip Tsao. I really hope that they would see the inside of an individual and not judge them because of their looks or their work. I hope that people would not judge people because of their status in the society. Lastly, as my birthday wish, I wish that Chip Tsao would realize his mistakes. I hope that his Filipina helper would not be treated badly by her much respected employer (oops, sarcasm). I pray that cheap ass Chip Tsao would eventually grow up and use his talent in writing in the right way.

Last wish. It’s even better if cheap ass Chip Tsao would enter a mental asylum. J By the way, I was also taught to choose the people I should respect. Luckily, you’re not one of them. Good luck cheap ass Chip Tsao.

K

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